Voices 24: Back in Horizon Dawn

Episode 24- Voices

“I just don’t understand how they could let my little boy escape.” The evening news blared tinny from the small T.V. in the Rec. Room. Jenkins mother, wearing a beaten bathrobe sans makeup, spat accusations into multiple microphones while holding and stroking a fluffy orange kitten. “Why would he have a room mate anyway? It’s mental hospital, not a summer camp. My boy was a good boy, a gentle boy. I don’t understand how the Police could confuse a rearview mirror for a gun. They look nothing alike, and where would an unspeaking escaped mental patient find a gun? I’m suing the city, the police and the hospital. My boy was a good boy.”

Six weeks passed since the incident, but news cameras still haunted Grant and “Horizon Dawn”. Criminal investigations were pending; this was not the kind of publicity the Chief-of-Staff wanted, but it was free PR. “Horizon Dawn” was on the lips of everyone, and for the first time in thirteen years, every bed was full.

“Grant? It’s your turn. What’s your feeling word for the day?” Dr. Jill was strictly business attire. She swam in long pants and baggy turtlenecks under her starched white coat. She hadn’t worn makeup in weeks. Her curly hair flung unkempt in all directions. She was still so beautiful.

I feel like shit. Is shit a feeling word?

“Sad. I feel sad because I got my best friend killed. I feel sad because if I had just LISTENED to them, none of this would have happened. I feel sad because I haven’t had sex in a really long time.” He looked up at Dr. Jill, but she scribbled away in the red book while he spoke. No eye contact. Strictly clinical interactions loomed. “I feel sad because I haven’t produced a painting in over a year and my daughter is afraid of me and I’m a crazy fucking lunatic fuck WAD!” He jumped up from his chair and threw it into the window. One chair leg stuck out from the wall it embedded into. He almost hit Hammy in the head for the third time this week as Hamilton stayed close, taking notes for the insurance claim he planned to file.

“If your prime directive in this institution in safety, I think it wise to remove Grant from the group. I don’t know how I’m going to add this incident to the claim. It was almost closed, now I have to get statements from everyone in this group. You’re all witnesses on this claim.” He still wore and eye patch as the glass eye was on back order.

“Grant? I think you have a different feeling word to share.”

“WHAT!?! What do you want me to say? I’m angry? Yeah, I’m angry. If I had just listened to the voices and done what they said and not been such an alcoholic piece of shit, Jenkins would be here right now!”

Two hefty orderlies flanked the heavily seething Grant. He lowered his head and started to cry. “Can I go to my room? Please? Can I have some drugs? A shot? Pentobarbital? Fucking anything, please? Make this stop.”

Why did I say that? What am I doing here?

He let his body go limp so the men would have to drag him to his room. Grant brought self-pity to new echelons, and Dr. Jill’s new book on the subject would most likely earn her a doctorate position at the university.

“I thought we had a breakthrough on your voices? Who are your voices?”

“Me. I am the voices.”

You don’t believe that Grant.

“Let me talk to him.” They dropped him to the floor in a crumpled ball, and she approached softly speaking in hushed tones. “Grant, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I played into your insania. I believed your voices. I lost clinical perspective.”

She still loves you.

“I thought you loved me.”

“Oh Grant, I do, but I can’t be your doctor and your girlfriend, and I can’t be your girlfriend. You don’t get that in here.”

“But I did, and you took it away.”

“No Dear, you did. You poisoned me.” She laughed and smiled and patted his head gently. “Give him the 10cc’s of Pento and 40mg’s Diazepam. Let him sleep a few hours. I’ll have a private session with him tomorrow.” She caught Grant’s eye and winked.

Grant held hope. He walked upright to his cage and smiled brightly when his medication came.

Don’t worry Grant. We’ll take care of you. Sleep well. Rest up for tomorrow. It’s going to be a wonderful day.

Grant always believed the voices. The voices were always right.